East Coast Gazette

Title: Waltz
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (HSM 2) “Wow,” Ryan says, a week later, feeling as demoralized as Chad’s hair. “You really don’t dance.”

Written as part of the 14 Valentines project. To read today’s essay on reproductive rights, go here.

Today was my first day at work and I finally managed to restock my supply of Kalustyan homemade baba ghanoush (aka The Best Stuff Possibly In The Entire World, Dripping With Olive Oil, Oh My God) and I totally put off buying a Swiffer but more important than any of that is two things:

(1) Vanessa Hudgens (ALSO KNOWN AS GABRIELLA MONTESOMETHINGORANOTHER FROM HSM1 AND HSM2) took and mailed naked pictures of herself.   That disturbance in the force you felt?  That’s the entire Disney board of directors having heart attacks and orgasms at the same time.

(2) If I were to have, through avenues hush hush and highly classified, seen the first two episodes of season four of Stargate Atlantis — who would want to read a text only (I am totallly not screencapping this shit) review of the episode?

Title: Waltz (1/2)
Rating: R
Summary: “Wow,” Ryan says, a week later, feeling as demoralized as Chad’s hair. “You really don’t dance.”
Note: Forgive me, Father, for I have made High School Musical fic; contains obnoxious pop culture and stylewhoring — basically, if you read a lot of Go Fug Yourself, Gawker, and US Weekly, you will be set.

Also, for the record? In my “research” for this story, I found that (a) Ryan Evans’ actor played young Lex Luthor on Smallville and that he is exactly five days older than me, that (b) Zac Efron was on NCIS (which I remember, actually!) and (c) Corbin Bleu, who plays Chad Danforth, was originally auditioning for the role of Ryan, but realized Lucas Grabeel could shake it better than him. D:

(more…)

First: Cybel — who is on a somewhat holy mission to audiobook all of my stumbling mp3 podfics — is asking me what I want to use as covers for stories like “He’s Having Her Baby!” and “He’s Having His Baby!” and “It Doesn’t Mean You Can Explain the Ocean” and all I can currently tell her us: “Uh.” So! Does anybody feel like putting together covers? You’d be getting credit, obvs, and also get to tell people you helped pull my nuts (metaphorical — or ARE THEY?) out of the fire!  Got them!  You guys are total rockstars!

Secondly: Guys, seriously: Chad/Ryan. Click on through for more meditations on the subject — if you dare! (more…)

So who else, after the extravaganza that was the baseball dance, wants desperately for Chad and Ryan to get married and have babies?  Because I swear it’s not just me — when the producers put CHAD IN RYAN’S CLOTHES AND VICE VERSA, THAT IS CLEARLY A SIGN.

I’ve been nominated by some nice folks for the 2007 Stargate Fan Awards, and I say to you — in the words of my people: muchos grassy-ass, y’all!

And in other news of things I’m way psyched about, I’ve already touched on how like, blindness-inducingly stoked I am about High School Musical 2’s premier tonight — but unanticipated was the fact that it’s being on tonight would have me thinking near-nonstop about Zac Efron being (a) hot(t) and (b) musical and (c) jailbait for making me feel a little bit like a child molester by thinking he’s hot(t) and musical even though he’s only three years younger than I am.

So in honor of that — what kind of musical numbers would Stargate: Atlantis, The Musical, inspire?  “Life-sucked through the heart?” with dramatic grasping at the chest?  “Part of their world,” with Rodney singing about having gadgets and gizmos a plenty, whosits and whatsits galore — did Zelenka what a thingamabob?  Because Rodney has twenty — but who cares, no big deal, he wants more?  Or — and please Jesus, I would need this — just the image of Rodney in a big black trench coat, holding up a boom box in the pouring rain, singing to John, perched in his bedroom window, fingers trailing through his lacy curtains.

Come on guys — hit me with your best shot.

(Or, for the people in the audience as stupid as me: hit me baby one more time.)

OMG guys!  High School Musical 2 is premiering this Friday!  WHO ELSE IS COMPLETELY STOKED ABOUT THIS?  I’m so stoked I can barely SEE.  That is how stoked I am.  (Scientists are studying stoked-related blindness even as we speak.)

(1) High School Musical/SGA.  COME ON.  SOMEBODY DO IT.  PLEASE?  PLEASE?  LOOK AT THE WRETCHNESS OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW — GIVE ME COMFORT.

(2) Also, apparently, the YA novel I’m writing is…high school musical without the romantic subplot but…uh, instead of a musical, it’s a ROBOTICS COMPETITION.  GOD I’m a nerd.