East Coast Gazette

Does anybody else also have a hangover from it?  BECAUSE THAT SUCKED.  WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT?  Okay, look — far be it for me to cast aspersions on a mostly awesome show that usually rocks my socks, especially since I spent a not-insignificant part of my Friday between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. with my head hanging in a NYC subway trash can puking my guts out after revisiting my nonfunctionally alcoholic days — BUT OH MY GOD MY INTOXICATED RAVINGS ON THE N TRAIN WERE MORE COHERENT THAN THE RELATIONSHIP ARC IN THIS EPISODE.

Spoilers below.

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Before I get started on the unending glee that is House — a note to everybody who’s been a dick to me so far in February: Happy fucking Chinese New Year to you, too.  I hope you die in a fire.  Oh, revision: I wouldn’t pee on you if you were on fire.  Or: If you were on fire, I would pee 5 ft away from the maximum distance to which you could crawl.

Spoilers for last night’s episode, obviously, because given the option of writing utterly filthy underaged!Sheppard/McKay or you know gay doctors, the latter is easier on my wrists.

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Title: Fixer
Rating: PG
Summary: Your secret’s showing, Emma had written, and signed it, E.

Written as part of the 14 Valentines project. To read today’s essay on sexuality, go here - Instant Comment.

I should know better, but you know. And then I went and rewatched most of Ouran Host Club last night and suddenly BURNED for Kyouya/Tamaki (GIVE ME RECS IF YOU HAVE ANY) and found this magical gem of asstasticness:

119. Tamaki Is A Rapist? » by [NAME REDACTED, WHICH SUCKS, BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THE IRONY] reviews
Just as the title says… A hidden side of Tamaki OH NOES! o.o Watch out Kyouya! Poorly done cause, I suck xD
Complete - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,062 - Reviews: 50 - Updated: 4-6-07 - Published: 2-22-07

I can’t decide: is this a joke?  Is this something a frustrated writer posted on ff.net just to fuck with me?  I mean, because otherwise, why?  Like, it couldn’t be real, could it?

Also, regarding House’s seasonally-disaffected episode last night — spoilers ho!

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I’d say spoilers but you’d kind of have to not know what the show was not to be thoroughly spoiled for one of the major points. Still, uh, spoilers, or something.

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I watched a lot of TV this week, folks, but given that I had not one, but two lengthy job interviews, one of which was so poorly managed that they wrecked my entire day’s planned schedule and I ended up missing all of work I do not have the spirit to talk about them at length — so, superfast run-through of this weeks hits and misses utter the jump. (more…)

Last season, House and I had a somewhat rocky relationship — by which I mean, it slapped me in the face with its cock. A lot. And after a long, long time trying to get over Officer Date Anal Rape and all the associated shenaniganry therein, I was back to way totally psyched to see the new episodes.

Under the cut are the following:

(1) Spoilers for the season premiere.
(2) A bajillion images. You’ve been warned.

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House?  You win.  Seriously.  I just — win.  Lots of win.  Will be elaborated on at a later date, also known as “probably tomorrow.”  You are my emotionally and somewhat physically abusive rich husband who sleeps around a lot, but God damn do you hit me good.

Eureka?  Not as impressed, even though I could hear psychic screams re: Michael Shanks’ guest appearance all the way from New York.  You can’t let House beat you.  House beats everybody, especially its wife (read: me), so I have to like you more.  You’re the strapping, unaware and sexually alluring (yet innocent) pool boy who scoops my leaves, and who always wishes I’d leave my husband and stop drinking so much.  You think I’m pretty, and like that I read books, etc. etc.

Bones?  ILU!!!! You are my one true friend in this deathtrap, and we do pilates and talk about wanting to bang my pool boy together.  Oh, and David Boreanez is so adorable in you, and even more adorable in conjunction with Bones — so adorable that I spent most of the episode making this noise: SQUEEEEEEAK.  Also, I loved the moment where Bones finally confronts Booth about how he could have kept Zac from going and — okay okay, I’ll write it up tomorrow.  Fine.

Last but not least:

NCIS?  I really hate Jenny Sheppard.  I also feel really bad for Jean since, and I am not even joking here, for most of the latter half of season four the only bearable plotlines on the show, for me, were the ones about Tony and Jean’s relationship.  I wanted them to have unnaturally attractive children together — and okay, come on.  I loved the twist about DiNardo.  You know you didn’t see it coming, either.  In conclusion: will write big OMG treatise soon.

(Oh, and today at work?  I started to write something called “How Jane Sheppard Got Her Groove Back.”  I think it’s officially time to hate myself.)

MY HEART IS BROKEN.  How could this BE?  I had such HIGH HOPES for their GENETICALLY PERFECT OFFSPRING.

Also, my God, folks, who else is totally psyched about the House M.D. and Bones premieres coming up Sept. 25th?  I am in fact so psyched I may be reverting to my stoked-related blindness, which while sad is totally on the level.  And if you aren’t already psyched, get a load of these awesometastic promo shots from the upcoming season of House (note the teddy bear wearing a freaking stethoscope — my God, so cute) and these encyclopedic general season three spoilers for Bones.

And also, dude, I should really get back to writing my freaking House fic, yo.

I’ve been pretty quiet for the last couple of episodes before this one, partially because there was nothing really striking that I wanted to say, this one, however, had a really killer combination: (a) interesting patient of the week (b) Duckling alert! Duckling alert! (c) Foreshadowing — WEIRD foreshadowing.

Spoilers ho!

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