Did anybody else watch House yesterday?
Does anybody else also have a hangover from it? BECAUSE THAT SUCKED. WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT? Okay, look — far be it for me to cast aspersions on a mostly awesome show that usually rocks my socks, especially since I spent a not-insignificant part of my Friday between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. with my head hanging in a NYC subway trash can puking my guts out after revisiting my nonfunctionally alcoholic days — BUT OH MY GOD MY INTOXICATED RAVINGS ON THE N TRAIN WERE MORE COHERENT THAN THE RELATIONSHIP ARC IN THIS EPISODE.
Spoilers below.
What the fuck! What the FUCK? I liked the medical mystery this week — although I called it from the top that whatever the dad had, the daughter obviously did, because they were terrifically creepy like woah. (Kudos on that, really interesting.)  But what the hell? Look folks, I wept like a whore over the baby thing, but the last like, what 1 minute? of the whole episode absolutely ruined the whole thing.
What WAS that? Why were they KISSING? I was SO CONFUSED. And this coming from a person who wrote no joke, no holds barred, totally nastylicious House/Wilson/Cuddy that started off at House/Cuddy + baby. Jesus fucking Christ in the ass — how did that make any sense? This episode had negative amounts of sexual chemistry between House and Cuddy, and then what? Suddenly we’re going to make out? Look folks: you don’t DO THAT ANYMORE after you leave high school, okay? This is purportedly your forties, not prom. God damn it.
I’m still to irritated to see straight, and hopefully by the time next week’s episode (oh Jesus) comes on, stuff will make more sense and House and Cuddy’s INSANE WEIRD TOTALLY CREEPY NOT HOT makeout scene will the medical mystery of the week.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Medical Mystery: Obvious. I mean, great, interesting, nice job with the cocaine and whatnot, but it the episode practically screams “wow, look how depressed they both are!” from scene one. It was pretty out of character for no one to notice that. Jeez.
Baby: I did not cry. Actually, I think I covered my eyes when it was born and said, “Oh, gross,” and had a flashback to grade 11 bio when they make you watch the birthing video combined with every autopsy I’ve ever seen on NCIS, especially this week’s. And while it’s sad that Cuddy can’t have -that- baby it was going to be a crack baby anyway. Just sleep with House and Wilson until you get pregnant. It’ll be awesome.
Kissing: WTF. This made no sense in relation to anything else in the entire episode. I just– out of nowhere. And lame. And not romantic or even creepy, just– messed up.
Jesus fucking Christ in the ass: Is that even possible? Even for the son of god?
Chemistry: None, nada, zero. They’ve had one million episodes where I thought they were going to rip each other’s clothes off and then there’s this one where House is pretending to be a baby (literally?) and Cuddy is being an angry pre-mom. Not exactly where you want them standing when they decide to make out. In fact, I don’t see making out coming into that situation at all. Though I do really like Cuddy’s House/apartment/whatever.
Next week: Wilson discovers that both House and Cuddy have tumours in the brain pressing on something that made them freak out and then make out. He fixes them, and then everything is amazing again.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
OMG, I *just* watched it and my reaction was exactly the same - loads of WTF.
Made of FAIL. :(
October 29th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
*hiding!!* I, uh, kinda liked it! I thought it was totally House; House just needs to be in the MIDDLE of everything. If you were having sex with someone, House would want to BE BETWEEN YOU. So, like, I saw that as a totally typical self-insertion moment for him–he can’t stand the idea that she’d have a baby, because he’s the baby. He’s a one man Freudean institute!
October 30th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
No lie, started cracking up when they started making out. There was one moment where it seriously looked like House licked Cuddy’s teeth, and my one thought was, “Wow, they really are trying to make it look like that awkward first kiss…” Which is seriously odd, seeing as in my personal canon, House and Cuddy were sleeping together for months, before she realized that she literally wanted to kick him out of bed each night. And vowed never to speak about it for the last 10 years. Ah well, better luck next time.
Just to note, when they ended that horrible make out scene, I couldn’t help but think that you were dying a little inside and didn’t know why. I don’t know how long it took you to write “Deriving the Prime,” but, man, House screwed you in about 20 seconds.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
i will pretty much only be happy with this episode if it evolves into a story arc directly mimicking Deriving the Prime and ends with happy slutty threesomes.
because, y’know, i can see that path including a heaping helping of Awkward, and so long as they get there in the end, I would be okay.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I figured they were just using the scene to make a point about how fucked up Cuddy was feeling. I can’t imagine anyone involved thought that was, like, a gooey romantic moment.