Random Christmas-rum-consumption-induced ficlet!
Teyla decided to tell them she was pregnant while they were trekking through the heavy forest around one of Sheppard’s favorite villages. Rodney walked into a tree and Ronon fell into a ditch, spilling ass over teakettle into a freaking babbling brook. John said, “Where is he?” and clutched at his P-90 harder than usual, because apparently, he’d grown up to become his father.
“There is no need for you to defend my honor, John,” Teyla laughed at him as McKay spat bark out of his mouth and Ronon kept slipping on water-slick rocks. “I hope you will be happy for me.”
“I am,” John promised, and squirming, felt compelled to try again: “Are you sure you — ”
“No,” Teyla interrupted, gentle, and put a hand on his elbow.
And then the headwoman of the Hallicinians met them at the apex of the forest and welcomed them with fond kisses to their cheeks — “Slut,” Rodney muttered, when John got two, for being adorable — and ushered them into the village.
The situation didn’t improve any when they got back to Atlantis, whereupon John and Rodney and Ronon realized Keller had not only known since the beginning, but had conspired with Teyla to keep them in the dark. For that, she suffered their sitting around the infirmary pouting at her the entire time she did their post-mission exam, until she finally cracked and shouted, “You three know about doctor-patient confidentiality! It’s not like I could have told you even if I wanted to!”
“Also, I did not want her to tell you,” Teyla reminded them.
“You gave Rodney my medical files,” John said.
Rodney blushed. “Um.”
Keller, frowning, turned to Rodney. “No, I didn’t,” she said, narrowing her eyes.
“McKay!” John shouted, as Rodney shouted over him, “Okay, so I might have exagerrated how legal my acquisition of your medical history was, but it was only out of fraternal love that I did it, okay!”
Ronon turned to Teyla. “Why didn’t you want us to know?” he asked. “Did you think McKay would think it was Sheppard’s?”
Rodney made a furious squeaking noise of protest even as Teyla said, “Well, yes, but also because I did not want to be treated any differently by my team.”
“I am shocked and offended,” Rodney told her, scowling.
“I want to know if it’s a boy or a girl,” Ronon said.
“I want to know why McKay would think it was me!” John snapped.
“And I want everybody to shut up so I can finish this God-forsaken exam,” Keller muttered.
“There needs to be more,” she threatened gently.
Oh god, I love this!
Your Christmas rum consuming self comes up with some awesome stuff. The first scene is especially hilarious XD
Hee! Probably the best take on this I’ve seen so far.
Drink more rum. Write more fic.
Please?
This is definitely proof that you should drink more rum. *encourages not-so-subtly*
This may actually be perfect.
“I want to know why McKay would think it was me!†John snapped.
Love It!
I love how, by the end, Ronon’s happy for her (and probably having visions of Baby’s First Knife), and John and Rodney are arguing with each other. Rodney is such a jealous little bitch.
Those sentences were riddled with spelling & grammar errors (probably still are) but I don’t care! My family had Christmas today and I was up way too late last night cooking up early cooking and an hour late for Christmas brunch. (And yet we were only the second arrivals)
Also, the entire first paragraph is GOLD. I love it when you write under the influence!
*throws bottles of Captain Morgan’s, Bacardi, Malibu and Cruzan rum at you, to cover all the bases*
Rum spelled backwards is mur… and that sounds like more… right?
Which is what we are in need of… ;)
This is late, I know, but the most fun for me is imagining a very young John crying at home to his gruff but loving father who’s ready to commit some felonious honor-defending, starting the whole vicious cycle. ahhh.
AWESOME. *ggg*