It’s not all epipens and paranoia.
I’ve read a lot of McKay/Sheppard stories where the fact that John carries an epipen for Rodney is a really big indicator of their relationship, and I’ve done my share of awing. But for the last week I’ve been in the throes of a serious allergy attack and my kit’s a lot bigger than a needle, and I found myself sitting on the subway today feeling swollen and itchy and pained and prickly all over and thought, “You know, I bet Rodney carries avacado vaseline, too.” Now, of course, I believe 90 percent of Rodney’s so-called allergies are mostly hypochondria, but IF he was a true severe allergy sufferer, and IF his skin is as sensitive as mine is, then this is really the absolute worst time of the year for him (when the air temperatures drop and your entire dermis goes into shock and freaks out nonstop for about a month). I bet this is what he can expect to be very familiar with, as a regular everyday, on his bathroom/bedroom counter type thing:
• unscented, hypoallergenic, PH balanced lotion
• Vanicream lotion
• unscented, hypoallergenic, soap-free, PH balanced face wash
• hydrocortisone cream
• vaseline
• prescription allergy medication
• over the counter allergy medication
• topical allergy cream
• carmex lip balm
Hate. HATE. HATE WINTER. YOU HEAR ME WINTER? YOU SUCK.
The fact that there is obviously no room for John’s hair gel after all that is what really proves his love, if you ask me.
That bathroom lineup puts mine to shame. Granted, mine is all about acne and not so much allergy? My dermis does not go into shock: it just decides it’s going to break out, RIGHT NOW. I’m not sure which one is worse. XO
(Psst, if you haven’t seen this yet: http://www.creationent.com/video/sga-flanigan-bur07.htm)
Word.
I switched Zyrtec for Allegra because it was making me so sleepy, but I think I may have to go back. I can’t bathe in hydrocortisone cream, but I would if I could.
While I’m envious of your brain and writing skills, I wouldn’t trade your allergies for mine, as mine are several degrees of magnitude less irksome in that they’re minor allergies to fur and higher math, such that I can spend a month with two cats and two dogs and at worst, be stuffy. My severe dislike of higher math is more annoying, especially when you’re in a computer technician college program that wants you to re-pass grade 11 mixed math, because while the first time was good enough to get you in, the Ontario Ministries of Education and Training hate you.
I commiserate and scratch along with you, only I found out the hard way I’m allergic to Carmex too, so it’s either Blistex or Burt’s Bees stuff. Allergy meds are your friend (and probably Rodney’s too).
Oh my God. You’re allergic to CARMEX? I’m so so so sorry. At least you’ll always have Burts. That was like my magical answer to everything until I realized Carmex was less expensive and equally allergy-free (at least for me.)
I’m not sure what avacado vseline is, but I would substitute pure 100% aloe vera gel (that means no alcohol, coloring, or scent) for Vaseline in Rodney’s line up because Vaseline is made of *petroleum*, and is actually really bad for your skin. I think he’d know this and go for the natural, less irritating Aloe gel.
Actually there are many people who are allergic to aloe vera, so it might not be a perfect choice for people with allergies, but then everybody’s different.
I really feel that true love is not carrying an epipen but getting that sort of thing through airport security when the person you’re with wanders through ahead of you in search of a hamburger, leaving you with a hypodermic syringe type thing with somebody else’s name on it. (Or a bunch of bottles of temperature sensitive synthetic insulin and syringes. That was an awesome experience.)