It’s like, SGA: Fight the Future
So the preponderance of crazy homeless guys hissing “FISHWHORE!” on the subway today was high, therefore I kept my headphones on and thought about fanfiction — which inevitably led me to thinking about my new favorite guilty brain-vacation: X-Files/SGA crossovers. The more I think about it the more it makes sense to me, at least, and now I’m mired in this ridiculously romantic idea about the SGC and the NID and their finding Atlantis and abducting John to study him (a la Scully in One Breath) and Rodney going insane looking for him and this was the part where the crazy old guy yelled “WHORE WHORE!” at some guy reading the Post and ignoring him so I totally got distracted. But seriously folks! Think about this! The Lone Gunmen — aka Zelenka, Simpson, and Chuck! Jack O’Neil as Deep Throat! …Skinner as Skinner! IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE I COULD WEEP. And given the appalling number of times and episodes of the X-Files I’ve seen (read: all of them, multiple times), I really think I would love nothing more than doing AUs of the following episodes:
• One Breath (obvs.) — John’s been returned after having been kidnapped by the NID, but he won’t wake up, and John’s best friend Teyla is unsympathetic, calling McKay a coward and an ass for hiding in his apartment feeling sorry for himself and guilty instead of sitting by John’s beside.
• Grotesque — Rodney gets hauled back in to work his profiling magic with VICAP, and John spends most of his time picking fights with McKay’s detractors and making McKay eat and trying to get him to sleep in one of those delicious, Hannible-esque serial killing mysteries.
• Irresistible (because one of John’s Wraith boyfriends would totally be Donnie Pfaster) — Nobody inspires fucked up love ballads like John Sheppard. I’m just saying.
• Pusher — Cerulean blue….
• Small Potatoes (YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, OKAY? SHUT UP) — McKay finally makes a move on him, which John realizes in retrospect should have been the first sign it was some sort of freak X-File.
• Emily — Because I’m a whore, and I want to see John’s babies that the NID created mostly so they could try to study the gene and also omg babies.
• Milagro — Rodney always knew he should hate his neighbors, and not just because they’re macking on his partner through their English literature.
There’s more, but I’m you know, withholding them to try and keep some of my (4) cool points.
Now, see, this is the kind of thing that makes me immediately want to go out and buy all the seasons sos I can mainline the eps and esp. watch each of these titles you mention, just so I know what the hell is going on
whenif you write them. Been a few years for me with the XFiles.Which is why studios should stop hating the fancreations! ahem anyway.
I encourage these shenanigans. Flananigans.
Do it! :D
I would eagerly read all of the above. But I’ll confess to the not-at-all guilty hope that one of the ideas you’re withholding is a rewrite of Triangle. Because between Rodney combing through a ghost ship for John in the present, John and Rodney fighting Nazis in the past, and the kiss-punch combo … it’s just too much glee to properly express.
Was Jeanie abducted? Was Mr. Mckay involved in the Consortium? You’ve opened a can of worms in my brain :D
And I *just* watched Irresistible last night! It would be so good McShep style, John and his issues and Rodney trying to be understanding, and the H/C at the end - would they hug? friendly pat on the shoulder? Whatever the guy equivalent is, I’m sure it’d be awesome.
It all makes so much sense. Really. Every time Caldwell looks at Sheppard, I know it’s really Skinner having Mulder flashbacks.
And we know that Sheppard is an alien half-breed that escaped from a Consortium breeding project–they’d completely lost track of him until his DNA sample was being analyzed by the SGC, only by then he was already through the gate. Of course poor Sheppard doesn’t know he’s not a real boy….
OMG TXF/SGA crossovers! I…*speechless* Write them, write them! OMG
because one of John’s Wraith boyfriends would totally be Donnie Pfaster
*shivers* ooooh-boy!
My joy at your X-Files related genius cannot be textually rendered. Pusher…GOD, so much awesome.
AND SMALL POTATOES, DEAR JESUS. I can see it, Rodney Van Blundt, and the hat. (Paul McGillion was in that episode, you know. That’s like a sign from the internet gods or something. *nods frantically*)
I’ll bet you have ideas for Bad Blood, don’t you?
In conclusion: my as yet unborn children, a million dollars and virtual internet ponies if you write these. No, even if you don’t. Really, just the idea that they could exist has brought me much glee.