East Coast Gazette

I’ve been pretty quiet for the last couple of episodes before this one, partially because there was nothing really striking that I wanted to say, this one, however, had a really killer combination: (a) interesting patient of the week (b) Duckling alert! Duckling alert! (c) Foreshadowing — WEIRD foreshadowing.

Spoilers ho!

(1) Patient(s) of the Week: I kind of love this couple. They’re so dear. The couple — who I will be referring to exclusively as Dude and Dudette, since, as usual, I never catch their names; me = becoming House? y/n? — was wonderfully sweet. You know they’re characters you’re going to like when House can’t help but tease the patient mid-procedure. I love how neither Dude nor Dudette gave huge speeches about how much they loved one another — instead they kind of just…did love each other, which, for a show as dialogue-heavy as House can be, was wonderfully refreshing. Plus, ya’ll, I totally loved the husband smoking Cubans and doing shots with House near the end of the episode. There’s nothing better than abusing substances in a hospital room.

(2) Duuuuuucklings! Sing that to the Duck Tales theme to get the full effect. I’m not just insane. Duuuuuucklings! Firstly, I must give due props to the show for kicking my knees out from underneath me by having ALL THREE of them dump House — who is now suffering from the worst case of empty-nest syndrome ever — and also for really redeeming Cameron in my eyes by having her show up at Chase’s. And also naturally in the more shallow end of the pool giving me all those deliciously ruffled shots of Jesse Spencer eating sandwiches and wearing gay caps and being hot in leather and also having him be all ruffled. Could he be any more adorable? I don’t think Jesse Spencer could be cuter if like an entire pack of lab puppies and baby Emperor penguins got together and danced with him. Serious. I think, while Cameron and Foreman were interesting, surprisingly enough for a story line that seems so heavily about Foreman, the most interesting revelations of character were definitely with Chase, our adorable Aussie admitted-coward. (I would just like to say in his defense that no coward keeps up the “I like you” Tuesdays thing. That speaks of courage and retarded cuteness.) All throughout these shenanigans, Chase is in total “I am 7-years-old and losing my best friend” mode, which is kind of hilarious because he and Foreman and Cameron all purportedly hate one another. Which makes me think that this is the closest thing to family he’s had in…well, maybe since his mother drank herself to death. He wants his family to love each other! GOD IS THAT SO HARD? IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR? BTW, closing scene with House and Cameron? Dear Cameron: You are a total serial killer. I like you anyway. Love, Pru.

(3) ON THE OTHER HAND THE SHOW HAS FINALLY SUCCEEDED IN INFURIATING ME ARRRRRRRGH WITH A SEASON FINALE. Last lingering look at Wilson? FORESHADOW. If he leaves, too, I will cut somebody. If they give him cancer, I will SERIOUSLY cut somebody. (There’re enough horrible and amazing and therefore HORRIBLE-ER dead Wilson stories out there.) House getting new guitar? I don’t know how to interpret that other than kind of cute. That little-boy smile on his face at the end of the episode did a lot more to endear me to him than…well, his behavior from the rest of the season. Of course, there was also that last fight with Foreman in the break room that made me think that you know what, House and Foreman both have good points. I understand the value of doing something from the heart, and I also completely understand House’s point: his patients live, and they don’t give a damn about the motivations behind their survival. I don’t remember which episode he said it in, but I would prefer to have a mean doctor who saves my life than a nice one who watches me die.

(4) But like I said, weird foreshadowing. Seriously, what was up with that long Wilson look? I mean, unless they really do want to totally recreate Pru Family Fights Wherein Father Pru and Teenaged Pru screamed at one another and almost threw the living room lamps in ridiculous blow-ups over whether or not I was applying to God damn UMaryland of all things — uh. And the part of my mother, watching with equal parts resignation and disgust from the sidelines was Wilson. Guys, I’m weirded out. My spidey senses are tingling. They’ve taken away House’s staff, what are they going to do next? IF OFFICER MOLESTS LITTLE BOYS COMES BACK ARRRRRRRRRRR.

All in all? Good episode — can’t wait until next season, and obvs. still holding out with baited breath for Wilson and House to get married and have new babies to replace the three that just left the nest.

In conclusion: watching Law & Order: SVU after House is just compounding my sense of frustration in the sense that Olivia and Elliot STILL HAVE NOT HAD GROIN-RELATED FUN. GOD WOULD THAT BE SO MUCH TO ASK FOR, DICK WOLF? Also for those of you who DO watch L&O? It actually had good dialogue tonight, it was baffling. I just didn’t understand.

They’ve been having a long protracted fight the entire episode and it ends on this note, after they’ve made up like real men:

Olivia: You were right: you are the longest relationship I’ve had with a man — who else would put up with me.
[pause]
Olivia: You hungry?
Elliot: I could go for a bite. You buying?
Olivia: Well. You are going through a divorce and have four children so I guess…you.
Elliot: …I knew that.