Midway through episode six, I turned to my mother (who is possibly more into this show than I am given the earnestness of her pleas for me to provide more source to her NOW NOW FIVE MINUTES AGO NOW) and said, “Okay, so basically, the only couple in this show I like is Chef and Moo Ryong.”
There’s just one little catch:
Dial-up warning for below the cut: heavy image-whoring.
For those of you who read my Welcome to Y-A-O-I (sing it like “Welcome to Miami!”) post and who were curious about my favoritest manga evar “Bukiyou no Silent,” I can cheerfully say the only good thing about Mochi Mochi disbanding is that I am free to redistribute their work — so! Look to the right hand column and spy the Box.Net widget, where you can download the first three chapters of this work without having to dig around on the internet for it. Translated from Japanese to English for your reading pleasure, remember, read:
TOP to BOTTOM
RIGHT TO LEFT
This is what happens when I post at retarded hours when I’m half asleep. Thanks, Rose.
The manga will stay up for a while, but over time, I get the impression that some random things for download may appear in this box, so keep an eye out on it.
And by “gird his loins,” I mean, brace himself for me roaring up to him with a starry look in my eyes telling him how AWESOME he is in a way that will allow him to hear every single capital letter in AWESOME. Hot Fuzz was amazing and also AWESOME. Minervacat, Triskellita, Darastar, LN and I were nearly in TEARS throughout the movie, although there was considerably more surprised flailing on LN and I’s side of the row since we were seeing it for the first time. Ya’ll, I am not shitting you. At one point, LN had to slap my flailing hands down so I wouldn’t injure her or myself. This is worth the first-run movie tickets; in fact, I’m considering going to see it again with Roommate, who was unfortunately detained by Family Obligations today and could not join us on our discovery of the magicaliciousness of the word “yarp.”
Oh, and also: gayest. movie. buddy-cops. evar.
You see that? I wrote it with an “a” — in italics. That means I’m for hardcore.
Watch this space for Hot Fuzz shenaniganry coming v. v. v. soon.
It’s one thing to write smut it’s quite another to admit you run around like a 16-year-old Japanese girl looking for anatomically improbable pictures of feminized boys going at it with the magical, self-lubricating asses. (Stop looking at me like that, it’s not like I advocate magical self-lubricating asses.) Still, I figure I’m probably not the only one out there, and since this blog is pretty heavily “loser!” oriented, I might as well share the wealth.
I’ve mentioned it before, but “yaoi” stands for “Yama Nashi, Ochi Nashi, Imi Nashi,” which translates in Japanese to “no climax, no resolution, no meaning,” but is funnier if you say “no ass no money.” It’s a female-dominated genre in Japan and subgenre in America (although increasingly less with the sub as publishers like June and BeBeautiful are bringing smut to you) that focuses heavily on gay banging. What? I just gotta be me.
It’s also a print medium, yaoi anime, while it’s not new, isn’t often found. Whereas your options in terms of images of buttfucking are almost unlimited.
So how do I enjoy this visual, anatomically improbable, magically self-lubricating buttfucking, my friend?
It’s easy! But you’ll need some basic programs to ease your reading pleasure. (See how I refrained from making a “ribbed for her pleasure” joke there? See? I’m growing up! I’m becoming more mature.)
• For PC users: CDisplay is unquestionably the best out there — don’t bother to look at the competition: CDisplay is the best in the business and everything else (yes, even everything I’m about to list below for the Macs) is pretty mediocre compared to it. Nonintuitive at the beginning, but the keystrokes and program are easy to pick up, especially if you use the computer often. Very, VERY easy to use, and the best part? No unzipping your files required — we all love that.
• For Mac users: My best recommendation is FFView, does pretty much the same thing as CDisplay does, but not quite so stripped down and right on the mark. As easy as any other Mac program to use and also does not require you to unzip files in order to view them.
All right, I’m equipped with software, what do I do now?
Firstly, be aware of two things:
(1) In Japan, rape = handshake.
(2) Seriously, I’m not joking about that.
ETA:!!!! GAAAH. I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to mention this: shota = chan If you DO NOT know what chan is, YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT, therefore, you WILL NOT LIKE shota.
When I first started reading yaoi I was like, “Oh my GAWD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY — oo, that looks kind of interesting.” If you’re easily squicked, tread lightly, there’s questionable consent in almost everything. For reasons beyond my feeble grasp. On the other hand, the art is really gorgeous, and pretty you know. Hawt. Now that you’re appraised of that situation:
Where do I find these magical butt-licious mangas?
Best place to get started without having to commit to learning IRC, navigating the scanlation communities, or, joining the livejournal yaoi_daily community (which I actually recommend you do if you do become interested in this particular smut medium), is to go to SexCrazed Neko’s BL Site, and yes, I’m not shitting you, that is its actual name. Once you get in, click on the link labeled “Hosted DDL Manga” and you’ll hit a file tree of different scanlating groups. Download a file and start up either your CDisplay or FFView and opening the zip directly — welcome to the world imagewhoring.
Some scanlators you’ll want to keep your eye are Nakama (one of the oldest and largest), Obsession and Hochuuami — all excellent groups. I would also recommend you look for Shi-Ran, which was my first experience with yaoi ever, and an amazing primer, they chose fantastic artists to scanlate and are one o fmy favorite groups still, even though they are largely retired. ETA: Someone in the comments brings up she’d only recommend Obsession’s projects to her worst enemies — I’ll be honest: I haven’t really read their stuff, but they are prolific, so, fair warning: at least one person has reservations, so it’s probably going to be more if I had a statistical sampling of the population.
Once you start digging around, you’re going to find more and more out there — and it’s a big community, as big as the written slash community, but if you get hooked on one story or another (COUGH WHERE IS MORE BUKIYA NO SILENT WHY IS IT NOW UNFINDABLE RIGHT AT THE BRINK OF HOT HOT JEALOUSY GOD DAMN IT COUGH) brace yourself that a scan group might close down, or the manga might be licensed (as Harudaki was). Still, it’s good times and good reads, or er, eye candy. And if you don’t believe me, check below the cut for some examples.
ETA: Images should show up now. Stupid tagged image files.
Yesterday morning was horrible (locked self into bathroom and cried a bit, freaked out and made phone calls threatening to hurl myself off of 8th floors of libraries, etc. etc.) but yesterday night was awesome — because there is really nothing cooler than taking a bite of watermelon and feeling like you were just PUNCHED IN THE FACE with vodka. Awesome. Recommend everybody do it for their 4th of July celebrations.
Anyway, to even it out even more, I killed sometime last night after our Graduation Fruit and Liquor extravaganza by rewatching “House Training” and shrieking, which, believe me guys, was way classy.
I realized, midway through screencapping, that as wonderful as the show is, House is a pretty monochrome pallet — oh, well, except for Hugh Laurie. Dial-up warning, images below:
I’ve been gorging myself on speculative threads on the House M.D. HoYay (homosexuality? yay!) board at Television Without Pity (shut up! I can only be restrained and smart a limited number of hours a day!) and while every other person there is talking about the possibility for a Big Gay Wilson moment or a Big Gay Wilson and House moment or what I would really call a They Finally Admit It’s Basically A Big Gay Show moment, all I could think in my head was, “It’ll never fucking happen. It’s network. We’ll be living on that Earth lite they just found before we’d get two main characters on a show admitting to and engaging in a homosexual relationship — especially not if it’s man gay,” and then I bummed myself out with my cynicism because even though I’m right — and I’m totally right — I wish I weren’t right. And not just because it’d be excellent eye candy — I think it’s evident I’m just a big fan of everybody being in love and having babies. Stupid life, denying me babies.
• Septpartite, because John was once married, and I love talking about ex-wives.
• Mr. and Mrs. Sheppard, because I totally just watched that movie again and love it as I always have, and I desperately need opportunities to write about Rodney threatening to kill John’s ex (are we seeing a pattern here) while defensively driving a minivan and chased by evil people.
• Shift, John’s version of Share, which, hilariously, I started before I started writing Share, but stalled on spectacularly.
SGA, to me, is like that boyfriend you found putting a carton of eggs into your dishwasher and then you threw him out in his underpants and chucked his shit at him successively through your bedroom window because that was how furious you were with him and does he know it’s going to cost you $300 to get that God damned washer fixed? Does he even care? And then you shout stuff like, “Go fuck yourself I hope you get raped by alley cats!” and shut the window sash extra hard.
But then like, four days has passed and nobody has woken you up in the middle of the night to tie you up to the headboard or asked you to make chocolate dipped strawberries or asked if you could spike a peach and if you could could they do it with a fifth and no, of course I’m not afraid of alcohol poisoning. And nobody has brought you light up pens with fuzzballs on the end at work or sent you naughty text messages with all the words spelled wrong and in all-caps or watched Blue Collar Comedy with you late at night and never judged you for braying like a donkey and saying, “Oh, God, I know!” at the “You know you’re a Redneck if…” jokes and you realize your LIFE IS BEREFT without his stupidity.
Yeah, that’s how I feel about SGA — which explains why I’m trying to gorge myself and utterly failing — has nobody been writing in the last month? COME ON GUYS.
Snapshot: (from a larger work to come) Septpartite
sdlfkjewalijds;lkjdflkjsfwealkdsjfslkfjklseijdlksfjdlskfj
sdlfkjsdfljsdflkjwelaijdfkljdsflwekjdslkdj,fldskjflewijskjlskjsliejlskdjfdlkj!!!!!
spoilers sdlfkjsleijsdlkfjsdlkfjesdlkfjssweoklewjds1111!!!
Suffice it to say that if I had a goat and an altar and a knife I didn’t care much about and enough testicular fortitude to sacrifice said goat with said knife on said altar, I’d be doing it right now chanting “Hooooooooouse!” and “Egaaaaaaaaan!” and “Shooooooooooooore!” and “Siiiiiiiiiiinger!” In fact, it would be this goat:
Don’t feel bad for it. It’s totally psyched about this, too. He saw the episode! And volunteered!
Title: Share
Rating: R, for language.
Summary: rodney.mckay (gmail) : They’re all whores.
Okay yes, I know, I started this roughly about 92874938734 billion years ago, but it’s done! And sort of in time for the US premier of the second half of season three! Many thanks are owed to Cesperanza, who took the initiative to poke at me like a deranged seabird until I caved and opened the file. A note: I kept trying to find the happy ending in this and it wouldn’t come — which was about when I realized that arrested in the middle of the moment, this didn’t have one yet. Thank goodness we have “The Return,” right?